Drawing over 42,000 visitors and $2 million in 2012, according to Johnny Wu, CAF executive committee member, CAF hopes to continue breaking records, with guest performances by NBC’s The Voice contestant Cheesa and state proclamations recognizing May 18 and 19, 2013, as Cleveland Asian Festival Weekend. Cheesa, who’s Filipina-American, released her debut album, Naked, which includes the single “I’m Not Perfect,” featuring Charice. The artist is set to perform two shows for the festival, one each at 2:30 p.m., according to the schedule.

Other guests include Engineer of the Year Award-winner Wayne Wong as MC and the spectrum of Asian-American news personalities currently gracing Cleveland’s airwaves, including WKYC’s Stephanie Coueignoux and Lynna Lai, among others.

For more information on the event, check out the CAF website. This event is free, with free parking, and open to the public, but not to pets. For transparency, Dumpling is a media partner of CAF’s.

Despite this foodie fame, Cao wants to make one thing clear: she can’t cook. But she also wants to show her viewers and followers that it’s possible to love food without being a good cook, and that even basic recipes can produce nourishing food. Cao, who also works as a freelance social media and marketing consultant, believes everything about food — the ingredients, the people who make and serve it, the stories behind it, and whom we consume it with — are not only important to our relationship with it, but also that enjoying food doesn’t have to be inaccessible.

Dumpling recently spoke with Cao about her experiences with food, cooking, music and family.

DUMPLING: What first got you interested in food and cooking?

AMY CAO: I can’t really cook, but I can see why people love cooking. I enjoy what food means and what it does. I love the idea of spending a long time with a friend over a meal. I live in New York City, and there are so many options for good food here. I have my regular coffee place, and I live near a great sandwich shop and a good Thai place.

I’m also lucky because my boyfriend loves to cook, so when we do eat at home, he does most of the cooking. I like taking care of other people, which I primarily do not by cooking but by making sure people are happy and well-fed: ordering pizza, keeping wineglasses full, and cleaning up when other people cook.

Cooking and food can be very family-oriented. Did your family influence your cooking or food preferences?

My mom came [to] the U.S. from China when she was 28, so she had grown up learning to make Chinese food. As a result, when I was growing up, foods that were new to me were also new to her. We experienced new foods together. My mom would take me to different restaurants and then try to recreate what we’d eaten when we got home, except it was her own Asian interpretation of these dishes. For example, pancakes and other cakes in Chinese culture aren’t as sweet as they are here, so there was always a big discrepancy between what she made at home and what we’d buy a pastry shop.

I learned to accept all types of food because of my parents. We didn’t have a lot of money, and to my parents, there was no such thing as a bad food, everything was just food that fed us. As a result, I learned to be very accepting and open to new things. But thinking back about all the Twinkies I’ve had in my life, I sometimes shudder.

Do you think being Asian American has influenced your relationship with food?

Yes. Going to a Chinatown supermarket was stressful to me growing up — Sunday is the day every Chinese person goes to Chinatown; they make a day of it, get dim sum, stock up on ingredients, and socialize. My boyfriend and I now go for fun. My boyfriend isn’t Chinese, but he’s obsessed with Szechwan-style cooking. Suddenly, the cupboards in our apartment are filled with all of these Chinese vinegars, spices, and sauces that I had in my cupboard as a kid.

When I was growing up, I was the only Chinese person in my school from pre-k through 8th grade. Even though the kids didn’t make me feel different, food made me feel different, though. My mom would send in egg tarts for me to share with the class on my birthday instead of cupcakes.

Of course, I appreciate my Chinese heritage now, but kids don’t want to be different. These days, it’s cool to stand out, it’s cool to have an experimental palate and try different foods, and even Chinese cooking has become trendy. But when I was a kid, I didn’t really want to stand out.

Who are your favorite food writers or bloggers?

Joy Cho, who runs Oh Joy! is a favorite. She’s a lifestyle blogger, so she talks about restaurants, travel, design and recipes. I like bloggers who talk not only about food, but also the story behind it.

My favorite food-related book is Blood, Bones & Butter by Gabrielle Hamilton. It’s a beautiful, exquisite narrative about a Hamilton’s life and her experiences working in kitchens and opening her own restaurant in New York City. She got a degree in writing, too, so it’s interesting and well written. More people should read this book!

I’ve noticed that you also write a lot about music on your Tumblr and frequently feature songs by lesser-known artists in your “Stupidly Simple Snacks” videos. Do you have any interest in music besides listening to it?

Music tells a story, and it can so perfectly capture a mood, which is why I share the music that I share. I try to post music that will make someone feel what I feel; I want people to know they’re not alone. My blog has a relatively young following, with many followers in their teens. I don’t write about really heavy stuff on my blog, but I still get emails and messages from people thanking me for writing about different issues because they can relate to them.

What kinds of issues?

One example was when I posted a bunch of photos of me and my boyfriend, and people wrote comments asking things like why I wasn’t dating someone of my own ethnicity. I usually ignore the trolls and spammers, but this time I felt compelled to respond, so I wrote that it’s not OK to leave a racist comment on my site. I want people who experience racism to know that they’re not alone in it.

Your “Stupidly Simple Snacks” videos focus on easy cooking. How do you think sites like YouTube are changing how people cook?

Cooking shows have traditionally taken place on sound stages where everything’s perfect and the ingredients are pre-prepared. That style didn’t appeal to me because I have to cook for my own life. I love how imperfect cooking can be, which is why I love “Stupidly Simple Snacks,” and what I try to convey in the episodes I make. On the show, I’m cooking in real time, so I try to convey this, even if it’s sped up, like showing what I do while I’m waiting for my ice pops to freeze.

A lot of people who watch my videos don’t believe I can’t cook, but I make them to show that cooking can be approachable to anyone. It’s funny when I screw up, so I try to show those screw-ups in the videos. You don’t have to be a foodie to enjoy food and cooking.

What are your plans for the future? Do you think you’ll continue to write and make videos about food?

I’ve been working [with] the Cooking Channel making new episodes of “Stupidly Simple Snacks.” I filmed 10 episodes in the last three weeks that will premier this summer. I used to make all my episodes on my Macbook, but this time I worked with a production company that had real cameras and lights and made the videos look very professional.

Whatever I’m doing in the future, I want to help people relate to each other and contribute positively to the world. Life is short and people often forget that. I want people to remember that at the end of the day it’s OK, you can pick yourself up. I also want people to know that you can love food without knowing how to cook.

Find Amy at amyblogschow.com or on Facebook or on Twitter @amycao.

You can also check out her YouTube Channel, “Stupidly Simple Snacks.” youtube.com/stupidlysimplesnacks.

Photo: Eddy Vallante for Amy Cao.

Over the past few years, as I’ve written more and more about my family, my friends, and their stories of leaving, moving, transitioning — translating — and growing, I’ve come to realize that culture isn’t an abstract noun.

Culture is found on the deck of a refugee boat; the songs of a homeland; the memories of lost lives and lost loves; the loving but tense bonds between generations.

I offer this spoken word video in memory of those who came before: their names, their stories, their journeys. Our history.

Check out his video below:

To join the hangout, which is open to the public, head to http://bit.ly/apa_hangout at 3 p.m. EST, 12 p.m. PST, May 1 to interact with these personalities and to find out more about the museum’s offerings throughout the month.

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2013/04/asian-american-frat-under-fire-for-blackface-video/

All those entering this contest shall be bound by these contest rules and agreements set forth herein. By entering this contest, you agree that your name may be used in further promotion of this contest and that you reside in one of the 50 United States or one of its territories and are at least 18 years of age or have the consent of an adult. Entrants agree that, if he or she should win the contest, that he or she will submit a headshot to Christina Choi Cosmetics for use in judging an appropriate BB Cream that matches the winner’s complexion. Entrant also acknowledges that his or her name and email will be stored by both Dumpling Magazine LLC and Christina Choi Cosmetics. Dumpling Magazine LLC further promises not to sell the email addresses to third parties in association with this contest and that this information will be used to relay information regarding this contest and future Dumpling Magazine LLC updates only. We take no responsibility for the usage of said information once provided to Christina Choi Cosmetics. For a reference to Christina Choi Cosmetic’s privacy policy, visit this page. One (1) winner will be announced on or around May 1, 2013, and asked to provide a headshot to be matched with a corresponding BB Cream color and a mailing address within the United States or one of its territories.

After graduation, she realized her side passion could become a career enhancing women’s natural beauty. She worked nearly eight years at M.A.C., with the later time spent on the industry side at M.A.C. PRO, a division of the beauty company that works with people in the industry. From there, she went to Bare Escentuals, working her way up to designer of makeup artistry and national makeup artist, which allowed her to travel across the country giving women makeovers and teaching them about applying makeup. Choi wanted to take her career to the next level, so she took her years of artistry, education, business acumen and sharing and launched her eponymous cosmetics line of BB creams, brushes, eye shadows and lip glosses.

Dumpling caught up with Choi to talk about her experiences, beauty ideals and, of course, makeup.

STEMPAK: What was one of your most memorable looks, good or bad?

CHOI: I think I had interesting moments in high school. I think I was naturally talented in doing makeup, but I followed the trend of over-plucking eyebrows. I totally fell into that, and they took a while to grow back. That was a trend, real thin eyebrows, you know?

For sure. Even finding a good aesthetician to do your eyebrows is pretty risky business.

Definitely! I actually just did my own. I looked at magazines and tried to follow what celebrities were doing. Thin was in style.

I’m curious. Growing up, what kind of magazines were you reading or celebrity looks you turned to for inspiration?

I can remember I loved Seventeen magazine when I was younger. Back when I was a teenager, there really were no role models or celebrities that looked liked me, being Korean American, Asian American. I could never find someone who looked like me that I could compare myself to. That was really the challenge.

I tried doing my makeup to focus on my natural features, essentially the features that I had and not try to emulate, for example, a Caucasian eye shape. The lack of role models back in the day inspired me to start my own cosmetics line because I wanted to give women the resources, the tools, the makeup and education to celebrate their unique beauty, celebrate their features and work with what they have.

Often, we learn about makeup through magazines and friends, but family members can also play a role. Did anyone in your family influence or shape your idea of makeup?

I can definitely say my grandmother. I don’t think there’s been one day I’ve seen her without her makeup on. Even now at 85 she still wears her makeup. I look up to that because she was really inspiring. She was born and raised in Seoul, Korea, during the Korean War, but she really took great care of herself, took pride in how she looked. She was a fashionista — and still is. My grandmother has been influential in my career.

I’m guessing she did your makeup at some point.

Actually, I feel like she didn’t. She never pushed that on me. I actually did her makeup a lot of the time. It was fun. I loved it. I still do!

Do you have a beauty routine?

For my everyday routine, I like to use the sultry neutral eyeshadow Namu, a taupey shimmery brown. I love to use that one around the eye area and as my brow color, too. That’s one of my go-to colors. I also use Creamsicle in the crease line of my eye, and I put that color onto my cheek, too, for that perfect golden coral color.

The brush that I always go to for a quick look is the Deluxe Stamp Brush because it instantly gives you that definition without much time. For lips, I love the color Seoul Mate Luxury Gloss; it’s a mauvy color, which is perfect for day or evening. Then I like to layer On Vacay Luxury Gloss right on top. That gives a beautiful highlight to the lips. The other thing I’m using now is our newest product, the BB (beauty balm) Cream. I like to do a combination of the light and medium BB Creams mixed together. That’s pretty much my go-to palette. If I want to kick it up a notch, what I typically do is add a bright color. The trend right now is adding Splash, a sparkly blue, or Agave, a lime green, as a liner.

You know, I’m not surprised you worked at M.A.C. Cosmetics because looking at your collection earlier reminded me of shopping at the M.A.C. counter. They have really great colors and so do you. How did you go about designing your makeup line and executing your vision?

It was a process. I had taken my years of experience in the industry, speaking with so many women, taking all that knowledge and also my own expertise in creating a line that I believe in and works with all different skin tones. I really wanted to make sure that it complimented an Asian-American skin tone, an African-American skin tone, a Caucasian/fair skin tone. I really wanted to make sure the colors are versatile and that they be made of the highest ingredients, like vitamins C, D and E. All of our eye shadows are hypoallergenic and 100-percent fragrance free.

I really like your mantra, “Celebrate your unique beauty.” How did you come to that?

I think it was back when I was in high school. I remember when I got my makeup done for my senior portrait. When the artist applied it, they created a fake crease on my eye. It wasn’t true to what my features are, or were back then. I was confused by that message because I thought my eyes were fine. The makeup didn’t compliment my Asian features.

I think if I had to think back on it, it would be that time when I realized you don’t have to change the way your features are. You can just work with what you have and find your beauty through makeup. I think that stuck with me.

I was going to ask you what you would tell your younger self, but your younger self sounds wise beyond her years.

I think I was pretty self-aware when I was younger. I realized a lot of Asian women have the same struggles, and they don’t know how to really do makeup on their eyes so that’s the inspiration. I like to address that. I make sure that my brushes and eye products work especially well for Asian features and a complexion that may be a little darker or what not. Whenever I’m developing something, I’m always thinking about that in the back of my mind.

I have to ask for your advice. I’m stuck in a makeup rut. I pretty much apply brown eyeliner and maybe a colored lip every now and again. After a certain point, it feels like a chore. How do you combat that mindset?

I would say I think it’s a normal thing. I’m always talking with my client base on Facebook or email and trying to create an open dialog, which I love because it’s almost like we’re creating a network of women. They’ll shoot me emails saying, “I’m in a makeup rut,” “How do I work this color?” or “What do I do with this?”

That inspires me to give them suggestions on how to infuse some color like maybe a bold blue shadow to their everyday routine. I actually had a lot of questions on how to work with the bold colors in the collection, and I just did a video tutorial addressing that. That’s part of the joy of what I love doing: helping women. I get to give them great ideas because they want to feel good and feel empowered and know what to do with the product.

I’ve noticed I have a lot of clients who currently are going through a lot of health issues or are sick with cancer. What I’m finding is it’s just not a makeup line, it’s actually giving these women pride in their beauty. They’re going through so many changes in their body and their appearance. The makeup is empowering them to make them feel really good even when they’re sick and not feeling so well. That’s such a great feeling to witness what the cosmetic line is providing for women that I didn’t expect. The makeup is really helping them and providing them with a little bit of an outlet to be creative and also work with their brows falling out and how to define their brows or little things like that. It’s been, in a way, great for their soul.

Find Christina Choi’s products at her website, and check out her Facebook page and follow her on Twitter @ChoiCosmetics to stay up to date on all her makeup happenings.

Photos provided by Christina Choi.

Be sure to enter our contest for a bottle of Choi’s all-new BB Cream tailored to your complexion.

The article does little to touch on Lum’s (Awkwafina’s real name, according to Goodman) race and how it affects her music and lyrics, as mentioned by The Cut commenter Mesmacoisa. It fails to mention the song “Yellow Ranger,” for example, which features such lyrics as, “You and that bitch look like Pooh Bear’s cousin,” and, “I bring the yellow to the rap game.” Instead, the article focuses loosely on women’s issues. When the article tries to incorporate more of her Asian-American identity, it does so at the end, leaving little room to draw any such conclusions as the one that follows.

“… Changing the face of rap will change the future for Asian women, too,” Goodman claims. Perhaps. But the article fails to mention the means by which such an enlightenment might occur. Rap needs more females, true, but all musical genres need more Asian Americans. This isn’t the exception, but a small sliver of the world Asian Americans find themselves. The real question should be, “When will Asian Americans become as prolific a force in entertainment as their white counterparts?” And that question, sadly, is one I can’t answer.

This was the first time I had actually really talked about my own race with a friend.

In fact, I can’t remember a time when I honestly talked about being proud of being Asian. I grew up watching 7th Heaven and Boy Meets World, where the Americana culture shined bright, leaving little room for diversity. After watching these shows, I would then turn toward a household that smelled of adobo and hear my parents speak in their native tongue. The funny thing is, I didn’t feel like I was inherently Filipino, but I didn’t feel inherently American, either. Let’s face it, talks of race, especially from Asian Americans, rarely happen unless pushed on us by the media or silly stereotypes.

Society has a way of framing cultural expectations on us. It’s expected of us to feel like we should adequately place ourselves into groups we think are representative of us, whether it be race or even academics. Therefore, the thought becomes since I’m Asian, I must do and act Asian.

Not too long ago, Justin Lin from acclaimed The Fast and the Furious fame directed Better Luck Tomorrow, a movie based on a group of Asian Americans who actually use the façade of being Asian as an alibi to do their criminal bidding. It was one of the few films highlighting a group of minorities as more than a stereotype. In fact, the characters were fueled by those stereotypes as a means of being able to get away with their crimes because their straight A’s translated as being safe and trusting. Albeit the film showcased a shadowy side of minorities, I was still curious to know what other, everyday Asian Americans thought about their race.

It was that feeling of curiosity that sparked me to join a project called DailyMuses. You can think of DailyMuses as the “bathroom wall” of the Internet, where folks can write as publicly or anonymously as they want, especially around taboo topics like depression and sexuality. Topics and questions can range anywhere from family to love to race.

When someone added the question “Are you proud of your race?” on DailyMuses, I was extremely fascinated by how people perceived their race
compared to how I did.

It was enlightening seeing their responses. Some folks shared their experience of being really proud of their cultures. Others were completely indifferent to the notion of race, while still others had decided to ignore it altogether. But what really got me were the folks who felt the same way I did — stuck in between cultures.

It was comforting seeing the other “in-betweeners,” other Asian Americans who didn’t quite fit in with the expectations of their race. We all somehow became the awkward outsiders of both cultures — not really quite sure what to peg ourselves. We’ve all let ourselves become a bit jaded by the outdated stereotypes and joined in on being the butt of discriminatory jokes. But mostly, as in-betweeners, I think we’re just tired of being ask the question of whether or not we know karate. The answer is no (for majority of us), and we want the rest of America to get over it. From this, I found what was most powerful was to comfortably say I’m neither this nor that and that I wasn’t alone in this thought.

As Asian Americans, we should open up to each other about the insecurities and fears we have about our identities and our culture. It’s not easy tackling these problems on our own, and that’s why it’s so important for us to talk about these things with each other. We’ve let societal expectations get the better of us and limit our ways in relating to one another. Just be yourself and talk — talk about the time time you felt shut out by a group of fellow Asian-Americans, or the time you felt accepted as one of them, or even the time you just didn’t care that you didn’t belong. Only until we really start talking more about these issues can we liberate each other and say, “It’s OK; me too.”

Below are a few more muses to check out:

Photos: Screen shots provided by DailyMuses; featured image from Better Luck Tomorrow

My failed Valentine confession, in part 1 and part 2, morphed into a friendship failure — the type of transformation where I sit back, following our phone call, and ask myself, why in the world would she talk to me for six hours, if she wasn’t interested in being friends at all?

Why?

I don’t think I really know the cause, or causes, behind her decision. My initial thought was she had trust issues. Regardless, the moment we hung up, I started thinking about the countless times I’ve communicated with strangers and whether this conversation was any different.

The truth was no. But my attitude, in the aftermath of my failed confession, was very different. Instead of acting like a creep, continually believing if I just tell her how I feel one more time, she would like me, I wanted to be her friend instead, thinking, since we talked like friends when we first met, maybe we could continue our friendship. Almost as if this confession never took place.

But she thought otherwise, insisting I wanted to be friends with her to “ask her out later.”

And so, the emphasis she was a “complicated” person, the lack of interest in continuing this friendship, these repeated references throughout our conversation basically meant she wanted nothing to do with me. Not now. Not ever.

But I am not one to drown in rejections and choose, instead, to reflect on our conversations. I started asking bigger picture questions. What did I learn from this conversation about myself, about my interaction with others, and about social interaction, in general, as an adult?

My main conclusion, or thesis if you will, is roughly summed up this way:  If I want to have fun talking to you, I will have fun. If I want to be your friend, I will be your friend. In other words, I do what I have to do, to do what I want to do.

You, the reader, may be asking how I reached such a conclusion. The following are insights I immediately wrote down, following our conversation, with the exception of the last one, which was thought of in the shower:

1. Be a troll, saying random s**t to p*ss people off in the pursuit of fun, to have fun
2. Tell stories as meaningful parts of conversation
3. Use trolling as a means to switch topics, make people laugh and introduce sarcasm
4. Respect people’s wishes by not imposing your own will, but still let others know what you think and want
1. e.g., She didn’t want to talk again. I said OK. I don’t like it, but it’s fine.
5. Talk about different topics and switch them by being a troll or just switching topics
6. Let your feelings be known
7. People like talking to those with sarcasm and trolling (makes conversation fun)
8. Don’t worry about sounding nervous or anything
9. Don’t limit your topics with people. Talk about whatever it is that is on your mind
10. Figure out what people are really saying, emotionally and physically. Words alone may not be what they seem
11. Use questions to get to know them, keep thinking simple to learn more new information about them, and connect the pieces
12. You don’t need to know everything about a person to know their personality, their character, their intent, their lifestyle
1. you just have to refer to ‘k’
13. If I ever want to be friends with someone, I just have to talk to them like a friend, opening myself up, talking about anything, whether it’s weird or not, and not be afraid of getting hurt
14. If I ever get hurt, that’s fine. I get hurt, but getting hurt reveals a person’s intentions, views on friendships and closeness of that friendship
15. Talk about any topic you want to talk about it. You don’t have to know everything to talk about it, like celebrities and bald Britney Spears
16. My interpersonal skills are just fine. But if I open up, my interpersonal skills will be even better, like exercising critical thinking skills, sarcasm, humor, and empathy with others.
17. Talk about anything with people, even if they don’t care. Develops consistency in communication style
18. Have superficial conversations with people just to have fun and bond
19. In that brief moment after finishing a thought, or after listening to comments, you can continue the conversation by changing the topic, asking questions, acting sarcastically, or become silent. You can do whatever you want to continue the conversation.

Take them as they are, and interpret them in any way. But as Pink, in her song Try would say: “Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame. Where there is a flame, someone’s bound to get burned. But just because it burns doesn’t mean you’re gonna die. You’ve gotta get up and try, try, try. Gotta get up and try, try, try. You gotta get up and try, try, try.”

When there’s a desire to do anything, whether it&rsqou;s a confession or calling someone and getting to know them, you do what you gotta do.

That’s it.

Photo: Candice Links under Creative Commons, via Flickr

At 7:24 p.m., while I was walking home after playing with the 13-inch Macbook Pro at the Apple store in downtown San Francisco, I called her, talking about the midterm we took a few hours ago during geography lab.

We shared our answers on numerous questions, while asking whether our results for the sling psychrometer, for instance, was accurate — a precursor to whether we got the same answer. I called her thinking our conversation would be brief; I just wanted to blow off some steam after this midterm, and if she did’t mind, I wanted her to listen.

She ended up listening.

But my iPhone, as I was nearing home, was at 3-percent. I told her I would call her back if my battery died, but she hung up on me first.

“Hmmm,” I grinned but didn’t think further.

I went home, tossed my Chrome Soyuz backpack onto the floor and immediately attached my iPhone to its charger. I called her back, a second later.

We talked and talked some more about geography, but our conversations soon changed course. I started asking her questions about her personal life and went on to a conversation about high school, her teenage years — she was a “complicated” person who went through “many phases” in her life — and her attractions to non-Asian ethnicities.

I later learned she was a “white washed” female who was attracted to Caucasians more than Asian Americans because she did’t grow up in an environment surrounded by Asian Americans. This was in contrast to my lifestyle, since I grew up being exposed to a lot of Asian Americans, mainly of Chinese descent.

We then went on to talk about Justin Bieber and how he was recently involved in an altercation with a paparazzo and was restrained by a security guard. I made fun of Bieber, sarcastically commenting on his songs, while criticizing the older demographic — age 18 and above — for liking him and falling in love with his songs, when he was just a teenager himself.

Then we talked about Britney Spears and her shaved head. I told her I never looked at Spears the same way again. She told me she felt sorry for her.

And then we talked about Tumblr and how she had one since sophomore year in high school. I poked fun of her Tumblr usage, saying this is why females spend more on Tumblr than males, or so I thought.

“I could have been wrong,” I said. “I don’t know, really.”

We talked and talked, and little did I know, our conversation went from 12 minutes to 6 hours and 41 minutes.

We were having a lot of fun on the phone, talking about anything that popped into our minds, while interrupting each other whenever we felt like boosting our egos.

But near the end of our conversation, she started mentioning she was a “complicated” person who did not plan on keeping in touch with me, cues within our conversations that slowly shifted our friendship towards chaos.

But I was having so much fun, I brushed off her comment, downplaying the seriousness of her tone:

“You’re crazy,” I said after chewing my cheese ball.

“The next person you’ll be close with is me, right?”

OK, this comment, once I think about it, was not that sarcastic or characteristics of a troll. But in the moment, I didn’t think twice about what to say: I just said what I wanted to say because, simply put, I felt like it.

She went on to say she was close with a small group of people, which I retorted with a random number — “less than 5” — but she retorted back with “10 people in her life.”

I tried to figure out who these 10 people were. She asserted she was close to mainly family members, a few friends from high schools, and strangers she met randomly in class. I was attempting to extract more information about her comment, so I could, once and for all make sense of this seeming nonsense.

She didn’t directly acknowledge my comment, but she didn’t deny it either, going on to say she was close to people who live around her.

“Your neighbors,” I said.

She sounded startled, trying to explain her comment. But I interrupted her, cutting the B.S. from her details and directly telling her my thoughts.

“So what you’re saying is that you don’t wanna be friends with me because you already have your group of friends and you’re not interested in making more.”

“Yes,” she said.

I did not agree with this thinking, but I also didn’t believe imposing my views on friendship was the right alternative. If this so-called “friendship” would last, I thought, right now or in the future, I have to respect her wishes even if I was upset:

“OK, all right. I respect your choice,” I said, but as I sensed my voice trembling, I changed to a professional tone: “This is certainly a decision I do not agree with — in fact, I vehemently disagree — but you already have your mind made up, so it is what it is. I respect your wishes.”

She said thank you. But her tone was very low, as if she was reluctant to lose touch with me.

I addressed this reluctance by reminding her I am her friend, and whenever she needs anything — a conversation or help with geography homework — I am here for her.

She thanked me again, and, for the last time, said goodbye. She hung up.

This hang-up was, indeed, our last conversation as friends — a friendship that is now replaced by her strictly enforced view of us as, simply, classmates.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Check back this weekend for an analysis of the friendship game and relationships in progress.

Photo: CODYody via Flickr

But I refused to trust my gut, believing there was a chance to go on a date. I have summoned a lot of courage, at this point, to confess my feelings to her. I refused to back down now. So I picked up my iPhone 4, dialed her number and awaited her response.

My iPhone rang, rang, and then rang some more. A faint voice suddenly answers: “Hello,” she said, sounding surprised by my call.

I felt light headed. My eyes were looking at the ground. My stomach, for some strange reason others might call butterflies, tightened. My legs — my knees, specifically — began shaking, eventually trembling. I was nervous after hearing her voice. I almost didn’t know what to say.

But I settled down, so to speak, maintaining my composure instead of feeling nervous. I utilized my inner confidence and said, in an enthusiastic tone, “Hey!”

“Where are you?” I proceeded.

Her reply: I am waiting for the bus right now.

“Could we meet up somewhere on campus? There’s something I want to tell you,” I said, feeling less and less nervous as I prepared for my confession. This is the moment to shine, I thought — the moment where all this effort leading up to my confession would be made worthwhile.

“No…,” she said nervously, as if she knew I was going to tell her how I felt. ”I can’t.”

I didn’t know how to respond, in retrospect. But I immediately interpreted her nervousness as a rejection, thinking if I continue on with my confession, I will not only make things feel even more awkward than they are, but also ruin any chance of a friendship with her.

I was, of course, feeling disappointed, but I held back my disappointment. Instead of continuing on with my confession, I decided to change the topic.

“Oh, it’s okay,” I said. “I was just wondering whether we could meet up to study for our upcoming geography exam, but we could talk about it more later.”

Then, without hesitation, I told her: “Well, that’s all. I’ll talk to you later.”

I paused for a second, and then said goodbye.

“Take care,” she said.

Read the retrospect in the final installment in this series next week.

During his time at NASA, Wong has worked on the Sterling convertor. This propulsion system will allow future space missions to travel greater distances on a much smaller supply of manmade plutonium fuel. Due to the limited supply of this resource, reducing the amount required for long-distance space travel is an historic accomplishment and one that will allow NASA to reach even farther into space.

While this is certainly enough to earn Wong a place among the best Asian American Engineers in the country, it is far from his only accomplishment. As one the leaders of the Cleveland Asian Festival, Wong helped organize events attracting over 42,000 visitors in 2012. Furthermore, Wong and his wife have helped to raise awareness for Asian-American culture by holding events, such as the “Faces of Chinatown” history exhibit and the Lunar New Year celebration in Cleveland.

For all Wong did to further NASA’s research and promote the growth of a vibrant Asian-American community in Cleveland, he certainly seems to deserve the recognition. He and other award recipients — a full list of award winners can be found at http://www.aaeoy.org/2013.html — at this year’s National Engineers Week demonstrate what it means to be an active member of the Asian-American community. Striving to further NASA’s knowledge and endeavoring to highlight local Asian-American traditions, Wong truly is an Asian American Engineer of the Year.

March 12, 2013: Updated for clarity. Corrected the reference to the Cleveland Asian Festival.